Self-Awareness – Who am I?

Who Am I?   Who Are You?

Who am I

You have been asked on several occasions to introduce yourself. ” Who are you?” Your response would probably be, “My name is so-and-so. I am a Nigerian, or British, or Japanese, or I am the Director of So-and-so Company.” All these answers refer to your self-image or to an object outside yourself: a name, a place, circumstances. This process of identifying with your self-image or objects of your experience is called Object-referral.

The Ego

Who you usually refer to as I, is often the illusionary self we call Ego. This ‘I’ is not who you are. It is the ‘I’ with whatever you have identified it with.  We identify as something outside of ourselves, President, Chief,  Honorable, Senator, Director, Engineer, etc. We try to keep up appearances to suit the Ego we identify with. The way we talk, dress, walk and even smile, in most cases, are carefully chosen to match the Ego we want to present. This is role playing.


Most often we act out roles. Most of the people who are in positions of power in the world, such as politicians, TV Stars, Actors and Actresses, etc, are identified with their roles as VIPs. There is nothing wrong with this, but in the world of role-playing personalities, those few who do not project a man-made image but function from the deeper core of their being, those who do not attempt to appear more than they are, but are simply themselves, stand out as remarkable and are the only ones who truly make a difference in this world, no matter how small. What ever they do becomes empowered, because it is in alignment with the purpose of the world. Examples are Sister Theresa, Nelson Mandela, Doctors Without Borders, Aid workers, etc. All great work of science, exploration of creation, progress in medicine and health, development in technology and communication and travel are by individuals that did not project a man-made image but functioned from the deeper core of their being; people like Einstein, Isaac Newton, James Watt, Steve Jobs, etc.

The Authentic Self

When you don’t play roles, it means there is no ego in what you do. As a result, your actions have far greater power. The Real Self, or the Authentic Self is meant for the good of the universe. It is like the cell in an organ in the body. Each cell functions for the good of the entire organ and ultimately for the good of the entire body. Illnesses like cancer are caused by cells that have refused to function in alignment with the rest of the organ. If we function wrongly, we contribute to the chaos in the world. We experience conflicts both with ourselves, within ourselves, and with others. There would be mediocrity, not to talk about the illnesses, stress, depression, hatred and wars. When we are aware of who we are meant to be, we help create harmony and peace. We are at peace with ourselves and therefore we radiate peace. We are able to manage our emotions because we understand our purpose.

Self Aw1

Each individual is uniquely made with special gifts, talents and creativity. But we become influenced as we grow, by Family, School, Friends we associate with, the society we live in, the media, our cultures etc. By the time we are grown we have become completely brain washed to believe what others made us into. We begin to see ourselves as a woman with limitations, as black, as white, as unintelligent, not supposed to do this or that. We are narrowed down into what we are not! The sad thing is that we believe it! 90% of what we believe is what others told us or made us believe. These beliefs go into our subconscious and form our Core Beliefs. This is sad, but we can change all this when we know who we really are, when we become Self-Aware and challenge beliefs that do not serve us. We are spiritual beings in human body trying to connect to the spirit within and all nature around us.


Self-Awareness therefore simply means, knowing who you are, becoming aware of why you feel the way you feel, act the way you act, and react the way you react. It is understanding your personality traits, your strengths, weaknesses, your beliefs, your skills and interests. As you develop self-awareness you are able manage your thoughts, emotions and behaviour in order to create what you want and take control your life and live out your purpose.

So many people go to jobs they never enjoy. I often hear people say, “ I hate this job” yet they go there everyday. I was like that till I asked myself questions. Sadly the world is full of such people, sad depressed, angry, frustrated. Is there any wonder there is chaos in the world today?

Who are you? And why are you here – on earth? Why were you born? These questions opened my eyes several years ago. I went from working as a Research Scientist to becoming a Wellbeing Counsellor and an Inspirational Speaker, which I believe is my calling.


Some people have been fortunate to discover themselves. If you are one of these, enjoy the happiness and self-fulfillment you feel in what you do – in the service of humanity. Unfortunately, a greater number of people have never thought about why they are here.

You are created for a reason and all features needed to attain this purpose are there within you. Knowing who you are and living your dream means using those inborn and unique qualities to fulfill your purpose in life, and this is what brings happiness, peace of mind, fulfillment wellbeing and ultimately success, real success.

You may like to consider the following reflective questions in uncovering Who You Are, the ‘Authentic’ You and your Life Purpose:

Personal: What do you believe are five of your greatest strengths? Are you using all five of those strengths in your life today? If so, when? If not, why not?

What are three of your greatest weaknesses? Which of these three are causing the most trouble in your life today? Do these cause problems for you or for others? In what specific ways would your life change if this weakness did not exist?

Which of your skills or talents give you the greatest sense of pride?

                   You are ____UnknownWhat two personal accomplishments fill you with the greatest sense of pride? How often do you think about these accomplishments?

What are three specific situations where you feel the happiest? What are some of the core components of those situations? How often do these situations happen in your life? What specific changes could you make to have these situations happen more frequently?

What is one specific situation where you feel the most angry or frustrated? What are some of the core components of that situation? What beliefs do you have about that situation that contributes to your anger or frustration?

What are your core beliefs about life? What are your fears and dreams? This section will help you discover what’s hidden in your subconscious.

Social: Who Are You in Public? – Who are you with people? What kind of impression do you try to make? What kinds of people do you like to hang out with? The purpose of this section is to understand who you are in social situations.

Work: What Is Your Calling? – What kinds of work do you enjoy? What types of activities did you love to do as a child? The purpose of this section is to help you figure out what activities bring out your best talents and skills.

Financial: What Do You Believe About Money? – What does money mean to you? Where did you get your beliefs about money? How do those beliefs affect your behavior? This section will provide you with a clearer understanding of your perspective on money.

Spiritual: What Do You Believe About God? – Do you believe in God? How do your spiritual beliefs affect your day-to-day life? Explore your ideas about the universe and the meaning of life.

Reflect on moments in your life when you felt the most fulfilled, proud of yourself, and really happy. Don’t take anything as insignificant. You may discover that these moments, which I call ‘Peak Moments’, not only made you happy, but also made other people happy – periods that involved giving of yourself! These moments, or work could be  clues to Who You Are meant to be.

When we discover Who We Are, the whole world works for us. We are happier, content, more spontaneous, lacking prejudice, and emotionally balanced. We are more creative, more giving, more in tune with everyone and with nature.

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Please share your comments. 

9 thoughts on “Self-Awareness – Who am I?

  1. Congratulations for the blog, dear Philomena!
    Philomena, I didn’t know that you were a psycholog by training…This is a very good blog, indeed, as per the objectives pursued… I hope I can contribute arguing with you, as always…Long life to our blog…!

  2. Philo, the content of your blog is life changing.So, you had this great talent in you all the while we were in 1004, Victoria Island !!.Thank God you kicked in alive for the benefit of others.God bless you, Felix, children and grand.Nneonyeodiri

    1. Thank you, Evang. Margaret for reading and for your kind words. Your Church community has been a blessing to me. I am tempted to write about the great job you are doing both here and back home. I hope you find time to read the other posts. Stay blessed always.

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